


The Brotimate show down of chainsaws and katanas

by Kryptronics



Series: What happens after the credits... [1]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Agression, Anal Sex, Attempted mutilation, Bulges and Nooks, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Choking, Creampie, F/M, Kismesissitude, Kissing, Minor Karkat Vantas/Jade Harley, Minor Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Oral Sex, Power Play, Ripping Clothes, Rough Oral Sex, Roughhousing, Scratching, Smuppets, Spanking, Strong Female Characters, Troll Anatomy, after SBURB, crack ship, destruction of property, female bulge, flashstep, grubscars are just scars, hidden sexual minor organs, minor Dave Strider/Jade Harley, nook sex, traps- not the gender kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 14:19:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7390582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kryptronics/pseuds/Kryptronics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Setting- Bro is Dave and Rose’s  guardian.<br/>Suburb happened but all the people who died comeback to life.<br/>Rose is in a red relationship with Kanaya<br/>Dave is in a moiraligance with Karkat and a matespritship with Jade.<br/>They live in a spacious penthouse apartment... That Bro has rigged to the ceiling with traps.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chainsaws and katanas

The sun breaks through the heavy blinds, waking you up in that most un-cool way that the sun lights up the planet.You stretch pull on those awesome fingerless leather gloves that look so tough and stylish, and pull on a white shirt. Do you need to put your hat on; of course not you slept in that beautiful piece of headwear, strider style. Walking around the room you notice your collection of smuppets is getting a little low those poor bro’s just can’t seem to handle the speed of your fighting style like cal could… but hey that traitor was apparently like the lord of evil or something, so nothing gained nothing lost.   

You enter the kitchen, Dave your little bro is sat on a comfy stool at the island. He’s Too comfy looking. you quickly throw a shuriken spinning towards him, you’ll teach him for being so comfy at home. he catches the shuriken with barely a glance at it and comments ‘ How you’re getting slow’ and then for further insult to the un-cool slur he adds ‘old man’. Man what’s with the dude; ever since he got time powers he’s been a real kill joy in the sparring arena, your home.

You sigh and put some toast on… no wait that was a, nope just toast. You have to get used to the fact that the other resident of the apartment, is actually pretty good at making sure the fridge is actually stocked with food. Even though you’re certain you put several booby traps in the fridge. But hey, anybody even remotely related to you should be awesome enough to get through a couple of your weakest booby traps. Looking in the fridge, you set up a small one inside a cluster of vegetables. You originally started weak, I mean she was just a girl but quickly you realised this girl could easily handle almost anything you threw at her.  

That being said though her girlfriend. Damn that troll girl looked good… I mean you thought that making smuppet porn was hot but alas, woe is bro. The wiles of that troll were intoxicating, such skill at craft and design those fine curves and an air of coolness almost of an unbelievable level.

Your toast pops up and you spear it on the end of a katana resting to one side of the fridge, more signs your relatives didn’t appreciate the fine art of stacking a fridge full of beautiful anime katanas, you pull the toast off and begin spreading butter on it as a cry of rage reverberates around the apartment followed by the calming tones of someone untangling them. Someone obviously wasn’t paying attention to the hallway ‘net trap’ carpet. I mean the whole hall way is carpeted that trap extra carpet is the most obvious one in the whole house, one year old, Dave could have avoided it and he couldn’t even give a proper high five.

A few moments later Rose and a very flustered and frustrated Kanaya rolled into the kitchen.  “That bloody net, it ruined my dress.” Kanaya groaned as she walked in “I did manage to get you out though.” Rose replied giving her a gentle pat on the shoulder.  They walked up to the island and Rose carefully picked up the coffee percolator. You watch her as she does this, not because you put a trap on it but to psyche her into thinking you did… little dudes and dudettes are fun to mess with.  Rose after finding no traps, pours herself and Kanaya a mug of coffee and Dave waves a cup in her direction without looking away from whatever he’s doing… such a cool kid… to indicate he wanted a refill. You chill out on your seat, slowly munching toast, when you notice something. Kanaya is glaring at you.

You aren’t sure what’s up. The chick got netted; everyone could deal with a good netting every now and then. Well save you, but that’s because you’re too fast to be caught by a simple net. You smile it off, real cool like and carry on munching toast like a boss.  After breakfast finishes with the most interesting thing happening being Dave receiving a howling voicemail from Jade complaining how his Moirail had decided to tell her once again how  he and she fit into his quadrants. You don’t get Jade’s deal; she’s dating your lil’ bro and she hates his moirail or something. So isn’t that just gravy, or something… you don’t know. Troll relationships make your brain glaze over, let alone your eyes.

That hate part does ping about in your decidedly occupied, by things cooler than it, brain till finally the key hits the lock and a small thought clicks open… that Kanaya chick might hate you. You think it over for less than a millisecond before coming to the rad conclusion. You’re to cool for hate, especially with a woman as hot as her.

Leaving the island, after packing stuff into the dishwasher, you do your average work out on the roof.  Halfway through doing thrusts and lunges you notice a person has joined you. You flash step. Pickup the closest smuppet. The show begins. Till a chainsaw rips the poor guy in half.  “ dang it that’s the forty  first one in three days!” you cry out. The fight isn’t over but the fun parts, mostly over. Sighing you draw your katana. You are visible for three seconds. The chainsaw flashes down easily missing your no longer present form. Less than a second later the blade is pressed against the troll’s neck, flat of the blade in one hand to form a bar.

The head turns, that scathing look penetrates you. A small flame kindles. This lady just disturbed your session, sliced your smuppet bro and has the audacity to give you them eyes.  Those eyes, without an inch of fear, bore through your awesome shades looking you directly in the eye. You release the blade; you have no interest in killing Rose’s matesprite, and sheath it carefully.

Stepping away she turns to you “why do you insist on being so childish.” It’s not a question more of a statement. You look at her and the flame gets a little hotter. “Child, I’m training my family to be strong. I thought your people used to believe in that too.” You reply, with a cool edge to the last statement. It hits home. “I uh. We…” she stops a look of disappointment covering her pretty face. The look quickly changes to one of outrage. She looks at you for a few seconds longer before snarling and storming off the roof. You stand there slightly stunned, unsure what had just happened but something in your gut felt promising.

Later that day you are uploading some of the raunchiest smuppet porn you’ve ever produced in your entire career… then again you do this every time you upload something, you’re just that awesome. Just as the upload bar fills to full, the power clicks off and all the lights go out. Your cool, you know the layout of the house better than the builders who built it. With prowess you get up from your stool, as you do a strange unfamiliar glow comes around your study door.

You wait as the glowing thing enters, the details are difficult to make out but it looks human or Troll. It takes you a second to recognise its Kanaya, strange light emanating off her grey skin. She smiles a cruel smile. You notice she’s holding something. A length of cable. Two and two make four. That’s the mains power cable.  She cut the cable. She stopped your upload. She butted in on your practice. The flame burns brighter, this girl is testing your patience. You jump at her. An uncontrollable emotion running through you, not rage but something different, a sort of hate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my First submitted fanfic   
> I came up with this ship a few years ago and decided now was the time to write it down.   
> coming up with the setting has been interesting and I am writing more stories as part of this series  
> I hope you enjoy and will enjoy and follow my exploration of this... well 'interesting' part of the fandom


	2. Blazing hate saddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get Adult.  
> Kanaya shows her claws.

You fall towards her reaching out to grab her. Then you stop. This is not how you were expecting it to go. The glowing troll has in the split second you launched yourself, performed a flash step of her own and caught you mid air. You’d panic but you’re too cool to panic. The flame inside burns even brighter. She caught you. In mid air. She’s the slowest in the house, and she caught you. You can’t fathom it. 

Before you realise it she’s pulled you into your room. The pile of smuppets sat in one corner looks depleted significantly and there’s stuffing everywhere. Then it hits you, she’s showing you her handy work. This is revenge for this morning. Annoyance flares and you pull yourself free of her iron bar grip. Was she always that strong? You back up towards your bed you have a stache of weapons under your bed and if you could just reach…

She tackles you onto the bed. You look to the door, shut and dead bolted. One thought runs through your mind ‘oh shit!’ she’s straddled your chest looking hungrily at you. One perfectly manicured hand slaps your face. The sting is bad, but the sensation that replaces it as she forcefully kisses you is amazing.  The flame inside rages into an open fire, you know what’s happening and what the bitch wants.

Her tongue starts to try and probe its way into your mouth.  This isn’t happening you open your mouth and meet her tongue, kissing into the recesses of her mouth. As this goes on she rakes your back, you start a bit when you realise she’s actually shredding your shirt and leaving lines in your back. You know girls scratched but this was a bit early on, wasn’t it? “why are you shredding my threads?” you ask annoyed. She hisses that they have no style. You pull your shirt off and take a second to glance at the damage. Not cool; a rabid wolverine would do less damage.

The fire flares and you roll her and rip the black shirt she’s wearing in half. Now you’re on top you take a minute to look at the alien anatomy… not to different from human physiology two breasts two nipples and then three strange marks along each side of the torso. Your moment of pausing is used against you; she yanks your jeans to your knees. A snarl of disgust ripples from your lips “tryin’ to get to the show before the performers are even rehearsed” a nasty half smile contorts your face. You shuffle forwards, kicking off your trainers, your trousers fall off and your crotch is in front of her face.

Her nose wrinkles “what are you expecting me to do lick your bulge?” you smile knowingly “baby, I’ll make you choke on it.” The defiance flares in her eyes, though she still unbuttons your boxers fervently.   She begins to slowly lick the shaft of your awakening cock. You let out a moan of pleasure, as you do you feel a sharp prick. She purposefully caught the shaft with one of her sharp teeth, not enough to draw blood but, you tuck the memory away for future comeuppance. 

Kanaya eventually moves on to the head, still every now and then purposefully catching the flesh lightly with her teeth to cause slight discomfort. At the tip she went to kiss it but as she did she breathed in and lightly squeezed the tip with the edge of her teeth. The cold air and pressure cause an uncomfortable sensation but you grin and bear it.  You lean forward gently as she opens her mouth further. Then a look flashes in her eyes you pull out faster than you’ve ever flash stepped in your life. Her jaws clamp down, a cool look of approval lights her face. “I hate you, you know that.” You look back at her then flip the crazy bitch on top. Your hands reach up and with a small amount of force, destroy the silk underwear she’d been wearing under her skirt. She gasps with shock and snarls grasping your dick. she aligns her nook with it and rams herself down.

It’s wet, warm and wonderful. Her nook squeezes your cock like it wants every drop of semen you can give. You aren’t beat this easily though you begin to thrust into the squeezes, Kanaya lets out a peal of moans. She bends over you and kisses your neck. You enjoy the heated press of her soft lips, but you aren’t stupid you know how much this lady likes to bite. You slowly bring one of your hands from her hip and lay it gently next to your head as if to make yourself more comfortable.

 You feel it. The start of a pinch just at your neck, lightning fast you grab her throat. She is pulled away from your neck, a small drop of red glistening from one of her two now enlarged teeth. You roll again keeping a hold of her throat; she’s coming nowhere near you with those fangs. You resume fucking her nook, this time with added gusto. You squeeze her neck slightly a moan of desire escapes her lips, you try again. Kanaya appears to get pleasure from these quick restrictions of wind flow.

Keeping the squeezes hard enough to make her moan but not enough to kill, you carry on plunging your throbbing cock deep into her pulsing nook.  Her hands rake your back and her eyes burn with an angry passion. She’s hating the dominance your hands around her throat is giving you, so she’s trying to distract you to make you release your hold of the situation. 

You keep going till you notice she’s stopped clawing your back. Her hand is by her nook, she’s playing with the small nook bump. You hesitate for a second then return to thrusting into her. You’re actually starting to enjoy this keeping up the squeezes, to ensure she knows who’s in control, when a strange feeling occurs on your crotch. Something poked you. You look down, expecting to see her finger poking you, but a jade green tentacle the length of your little finger is erect and poking your crotch just above your cock. You pull out, Astonishment and shock reeling through you. You stare at the small tentacle, noticing the bumps along it. Kanaya, with three fingers strokes it, smiling in a satisfied manner. “You don’t like that I have a bulge too?” she grins. You look at her puzzled “but you’re a girl?” It passes out of your mouth before the ‘she’s not human!’  thought hits you in the grey matter.  “Yes, I am.” She agreed “which is why my little bulge is so tiny, not like a male trolls’ those are much bigger.” She flicks a glance to your manhood “though I would have to say you might have the biggest bulge I’ve ever seen. Too bad, it’s wasted on such a fool.”

This hits home somewhat you step forward menacingly, she shrinks back visibly, the tentacle retracts back down into the nook bump. You stand there looking at her, she just threatened you.  She needs to be punished. The flame within smoulders excitedly. You grab her hips and flip her around, she catches herself into an all fours position, your hands on her hips you rub her nook with your cock.

She lets out a cry as you insert it, not into her nook, straight into her ass. As she cries out you unleash a hand cracking against her butt cheek. A flush of green, blooms on her grey skin from the collision. She turns her head and glares daggers, you thrust into her in response. You begin slowly thrust then spank nice and slow, this fine rump should be appreciated not just pummelled to dust. 

Your thrust and spank goes on for a little while longer. Till you feel that poke again, she’s pulled out her tentacle. Your second hesitation is too much, she reverses flopping you onto your back. As she swivels round on your cock you notice her finger is right where you’d sworn you’d felt the tentacle, the bitch had tricked you and now it was her turn to do what she wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this we look into my thoughts on troll biology  
> and a cool dudes shirt is destroyed...  
> Average Bro fan fic.  
> If you read my works, thanks for reading means a lot.


	3. Kanaya's turn/ Things end up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of this story  
> promises of things to come?

You lie there looking up at the girl sat on your dick, her lightly muscled chest, her large perky breasts, her lime green eyes, her beautiful grey skin and lustrous black hair. You hate her. She hates you. You are now fucking. This is something.

But she’s in control now she managed to flip you on your back. Most undignified, for a Strider.That being said the thought of her overpowering you somehow, and getting you on your back, stokes the blaze inside something fierce.  She slowly moves her butt up and down, your cock still inside her ass. The rhythmic motion is pleasant, too pleasant. Her hands reach down to your throat, before you can stop her, she has her hands around your throat and she’s squeezing. Her surprisingly strong hands grip you like a vice, you can breathe; but only when she lets you. 

She starts to rock her hips in a circular motion, you try to thrust into her. Her hands clamp like a vice around your neck and a growl escapes her lips “what are you trying?” you stop.  Glancing up you notice her breasts, reaching up you grasp her by the nipples and twist. A gasp of shock rips from her mouth and her hands spring from your neck. This is your chance, you pull your cock out and you roll to the side.

She’s lying there stunned, not as stylish as usual, ass slightly stuck up in the air. You move over to her. She’s breathing heavily, but that seems to be the worst of it. You lie down across her legs, a muffled grunt of annoyance comes from somewhere near her head.

 Her nook is just above your awesome face, you smile, time for some revenge. You lightly brush the lips of her nook with your tongue. You do it again, she twitches with pleasure. Kanaya is starting to get aroused again. You stop and kiss the girl inside her thighs; a muffled moan comes from Kanaya.   You slowly kiss the outside of her nook, her bum wiggles a bit at the pleasure. She’s started a muffled keening, you look past her dangerously sexy ass to her face. She’s biting the sheets, tears of pleasure stream down her face. You start to go back to pleasuring her nook, when she chokes out “Why won’t you just put it in?” you keep pleasuring her nook. not moving. 

A roar escapes her lips. She pulls her legs from underneath you and grabs your cock. With one hand she holds your salami up. Carefully she slides onto your rigid cock. Her hips move quickly, pounding into your cock. You feel it coming, you try to think of something else but the inside of her nook begins stimulating your cock harder and faster.  You buck slightly and sit up and bring her into a crushing hug, she wraps her arms around and digs her nails into your back.You release inside her. Her insides stroke your cock drawing all the sperm possible from it. She slowly gets off you, a pail appears from her specibus. She gets off the bed and squats over the bucket. Curiously you look over. Green and white goo drips from her nook into the pail. “why you doin’ that?” You question. “It might work” she says with gritted teeth. The last few drops splash in to the pail. She picks it up and weighs it for a second then puts it into her specibus.

Scratching a boob, she looks at you. “You are a bastard, Mr. Strider.”  You grin at her “love you too bitch.” You notice that she’s glowing less and less. She picks up an end of the sheet and slips under it. You look at the lump on your bed that is her naked body under your sheets. You get under the sheets too and take off your shades. You place them on the bedside table. You go to turn off your bedside light but you stop, and remember it is out. “I am able to pull a katana in less than a second, try to get a Strider blood shake and I will chop off those prized fangs of yours.” You say coolly. “I wouldn’t drink the dirt in your veins, what little I got earlier tasted worse than the garbage you cooked last Friday.” She replies in a harsh voice.  “Then why did you eat it and ask for seconds?” you ask with a smile. But before she can even stammer out an outraged answer you’ve shut your eyes and entered into a semi- sleep like state.

The next morning you hear her leave the room, of course you do, you were expecting her to strike all night but you’re pleasantly surprised she didn’t. She picks up the tatters of her clothes. A surprising touch, she picks a couple of smuppets in various states of ruin and leaves. 

You decide to get up as the sun starts shining through the windows. Dave knocks on the door, you know its Dave, his knocks are ironic as only a Strider’s can be. He enters the room aloof as per is norm. “Little dude, I could be auditioning my hand puppet. Why d’you not wait for a ‘come in’?” you tell him sitting up.  He adjusts his glasses “Am I seein’ straight, or are those claw marks, Bro?” you look down at your chest. There were plenty of scratches there previously, but even you can’t deny the angry red marks peaking round your sides. “well shit, lil bro I didn’t even notice.” You remark in your most unfazed of tones. “anyway, what you up and stormin’ in here for at this time in the morning?” He adjusts his shades, nice shades not as cool as yours though, tilting his head. “I’m going round Jade’s this afternoon, I’m staying the night. Rose mentioned that she needed something from the shops, so give her a shout if you need anything.”  He exits, without even worrying about a shuriken to the back, you throw one anyway and it sticks hard in the door.

You stand up, and look at your bed. The sheets are soiled, green and red flecks everywhere. Thank goodness your duvet was on the bed. Dave may not be the most perceptive dude but even that guy would notice the almost polka dot sheets.

You rub a sealing cream on to your back, and then throw on a shirt. After getting dressed and putting up a few quick traps, you step out your room. Standing in the kitchen you make yourself a bowl of cereal and put on some coffee. Rose walks into the room, her hair is slightly messy and she looks tired. “Did you see Kanaya after the black out?” she asks. You give her a look slight concern on your face. “I was with a girl last night, lil’ sis...” you start. Kanaya walks into the room she’s fixed her hair and wearing a new shirt with her symbol emblazoned on it. She strides into the room almost glowing with confidence, not actually glowing though you’ve seen her do that. “Good morning honey!” she purrs and goes to Rose, her eyes flicking maliciously towards you. Rose raises an eyebrow and sighs “Don’t call me little sister, Bro. please call me Rose.” You shrug promise you will ‘try’ and go back to your cereal.

Rose puts on some toast and after disarming two masterful traps, she and kanaya sit on two of the comfy stools the other side of the island. Rose goes to adjust the height and her hand rockets away, a weak mousetrap caught on it. “Got ya’.” you say in an unenthusiastic tone. Kanaya gives you a foul look, re-kindling that flame inside. Rose gives you a disgruntled look and places the mousetrap on the table. “Are you okay?” Rose asks. Kanaya pulls Rose into a kiss “who cares Honey. He probably hasn’t even heard about Nepeta and Eridan’s black fling.” Kanaya looks at you “they destroyed a perfectly good car interior, shame not all black roms have that kind of strength.” You get the hint and smile, in that oh so cool way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone who has enjoyed reading this... there will be more.  
> It's been a blast to finally write this and share it.   
> I also would like to thank Marty.  
> She put up with my emails asking for proof reading, and managed to catch most if not all of my glaring errors.


End file.
